Dear friends,
This year has been a teacher. It has brought joy and heartache, full schedules and quiet moments, and more than a few lessons I didn’t know I needed. One of the biggest was learning how to set and honor my own boundaries. This was not only for the sake of my peace, but also my health.
If you’re like me, you’ve probably heard advice to “set boundaries.” The truth is, setting boundaries is much easier to say than do, especially if you’re used to showing up for everyone and everything.
The stress of not honoring boundaries doesn’t just steal your time and joy, it can attack your health too. Our bodies know when we’re doing too much. Our health tells the truth, even when we try to keep pushing forward.
As an internal medicine physician, a spouse, a mother, a grandmother, and a patient advocate, my life has been built on being present for others. But this year taught me that without boundaries, my energy gets scattered, my health suffers, and my joy fades.
I had to pull back from overextending myself, even in relationships and roles I care deeply about. There were moments when I was physically present but not truly engaged, simply because I didn’t have the emotional or mental bandwidth to give more. And here’s something important I learned: when life shifts and you have more space, you can always reassess and step back in. Boundaries aren’t walls, they’re gates that we get to choose when to open.
This year, honoring boundaries looked like getting more sleep; protecting my time for movement; prioritizing dinners with family, even if we only manage them once a quarter; and refusing to let work, events, or anything else interfere. If my family planned to attend an event together to show up in support of someone being honored, that time became sacred.
I also experienced multiple personal losses this year. And those moments of grief sharpened my focus on what matters most. When you lose people you love, it makes you realize just how fleeting and precious time is. You start to see that life is not just about checking boxes or showing up out of obligation. It’s about showing up with intention to plan a trip, sit beside your grandchild, or go to that play you said you’d make time for.
Boundaries aren’t just about saying “no” to others. They’re about saying “yes” to yourself and the people and experiences that matter most.
The stress of not honoring boundaries doesn’t just steal your time, it can attack your health too. From a medical perspective, we know chronic stress impacts every system in the body. The Mayo Clinic, the largest integrated, private medical group in the world, emphasizes that untreated stress can manifest as high blood pressure, disrupted sleep, weakened immunity, headaches, digestive issues, and even increase risks for heart disease and diabetes. Our bodies know when we’re doing too much. Our health tells the truth, even when we try to keep pushing forward.
But boundaries don’t just protect your physical health. They also protect your joy. And if there’s one thing I’ve come to believe deeply, it’s that finding and experiencing joy are essential. So, if you’re reflecting on your own energy and where it’s going, here are a few simple things I’ve learned this year that might help you reset as we prepare to enter a new season:
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Listen to your body before your calendar. If you feel tension, fatigue, or dread just thinking about something you agreed to do, pay attention.
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Start with your non-negotiables. Protect your sleep, your health appointments, your family rituals, and whatever brings you grounding and connection.
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Practice saying “no” without overexplaining. A simple and kind “I’m not available” is more than enough.
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Use joy as a compass. If something consistently leaves you depleted instead of fulfilled, it’s worth re-evaluating why you’re doing it.
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Make space for what matters. Boundaries create room for the things that bring meaning, such as love, laughter, connection, and rest.
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Don’t be afraid to change course. Boundaries can evolve. You can step away when needed, and step back in when life allows.
These aren’t rigid rules, only gentle reminders. Sometimes, the kindest thing we can do for others is take care of ourselves first.
So just like this year was a teacher, I believe the next one will be, too. It will be one that rewards the lessons we’ve taken to heart. As we close out 2025, I’m choosing to carry forward the clarity, the calm, and the courage that came from setting boundaries that honor my well-being. I hope you’ll do the same.
May 2026 be a year where your time reflects your values, your energy flows where it’s most appreciated, and your peace is protected like the treasure it truly is. You deserve nothing less.
With your health in mind,
