Dear friends,
“There are only four kinds of people in the world – those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”
These words from the late First Lady of the United States Rosalynn Carter, who was an incredible messenger and lifelong advocate for family caregivers, still ring true today.
Caregiving – which we recognize this November – is one of the most selfless and demanding roles anyone can take on. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 53 million Americans care for someone who is aging, ill or disabled – often while juggling full-time jobs.
“Caregivers of all kinds often put their health and needs last, which lead to burnout, mental fatigue, stress, and even serious chronic health issues…”
The physical and emotional toll on them to balance their loved one’s needs with their own is immense. It’s a journey that too often leaves them overlooked and neglected.
As someone who not only advocates for my patients, but also cares for my centenarian mother from a distance, I’ve seen firsthand how much more caregiving involves beyond keeping medical appointments and managing medications. It’s also about keeping finances in order, securing insurance, arranging for end-of-life plans, and ensuring that everything from legal documents to health care decisions are in place and in order. And when you’re overseeing all of this from afar, it adds even more complexity.
Even with support on-site, caregivers must constantly ensure that their loved ones receive proper care. But they are often pulled in so many directions—between their own families, jobs, and personal lives. All of that responsibility can have a real-life impact on their mental and physical health.
Here’s something I’ve learned: nobody asks how the caregiver is doing. It’s easy to forget that they are carrying a massive load, too. Caregivers of all kinds often put their health and needs last, which lead to burnout, mental fatigue, stress, and even serious chronic health issues, like high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and weakened immune systems.
It’s no wonder that many caregivers experience declining health. They sometimes neglect their own health, leading to an increased risk of mortality, and even passing away before the person they’re caring for does. The stress, responsibility, and isolation are heavy burdens. And without support, those burdens can become too much to bear.
So how do we care for the caregiver? How do we ensure that those providing care don’t fall apart in the process? Here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way, whether you’re a caregiver or you know someone who is:
Prioritize Your Own Health: I know it feels impossible, but taking care of yourself has to be a priority. Schedule time for your own doctor’s appointments, take breaks, and find small moments for self-care. It’s not selfish—it’s necessary.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help: Caregivers often feel like they have to do it all, but that’s simply not sustainable. Lean on family members, hire professional help when you can, and ask for support from friends. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Get Legal and Financial Affairs in Order Early: If you’re a caregiver, I urge you to make sure your loved one’s paperwork is in order. Power of attorney, insurance policies, Social Security checks, and burial plans are all things that, once taken care of, can save you so much time and stress.
Check in with the Caregivers in Your Life: If you know someone who is caring for a loved one, ask them how they’re doing. Sometimes, just being seen and acknowledged can make all the difference. Offer to help in small ways, like running an errand, bringing a meal, or simply listening.
Let’s be honest, although taken on with love, caregiving is a commitment. At times it is hard, isolating and overwhelming. This National Family Caregivers Month, I want to remind all the caregivers out there that it’s okay to prioritize yourself, too. You’re not just advocating for your loved one, you need to advocate for yourself, as well.
No one should walk this journey alone. Let’s make sure that caregivers are seen, heard, and supported, not just this month, but every day.
With your health in mind,
